Tinkerbell with an Eye On The Mountaintop...

Being a therapist is hard but it is also a blessing. Sometimes I feel like I can't breathe with all the pressure on me and the needs of so many children. Since May of 2006 I have been in the driver's seat when Dr. Fishbein left us to go on to Chicago. I knew and he knew that God put us together for many reasons (including saving my little boy from the horrors of cyclic vomiting syndrome). Dr F and I had to teach each other our respective trades. Who knew then that the dream team, the Stooges, whatever you want to call us, would one day part? The first day I had clinic without him, that empty chair...well I sat down in his chair, heart pounding and wondering how in the world we would ever move on. Thank God for Cheryl, Chris and Sibyl. Dr. F always called me "Tinkerbell" because he thought I could fix just about any feeding problem. No pressure huh? Well, Tinkerbell sat down and closed her eyes and prayed to the One who is behind all we do and asked for help 911 style. I "let go and let God" and He led me to Koke Mill in February 2007 and I have never been so blessed to work anywhere in 20 years as a therapist. I am blessed to have the people who support and believe in us at Memorial. But there are still days that I feel overwhelmed and unsure. We are working on telemed so Dr. F may be at my side again electronically and it will have come full circle.
But hard work pays off. I had sessions this week that made my heart smile. This week was a true blessing and it was because of three little babies who have each taken my heart away. I am literally teaching two to swallow. Our first steps together left both moms unsure and with the feeling we were doing nothing in treatment. I could see where it was going but they could not yet. The first steps are baby steps but pay off. The third baby could breastfeed but not bottle at all. And I mean nothing. I think people come in to treatment expecting Tinkerbell and instead see me with open hands to God asking Him to help me have eyes that see. They hung in there with me though because they had no other options at the moment..Laura was busy...ha and this week, God worked through me and I sat with these little darlings as they ate. All three, baby food tastes to a full meal, faces covered with biter biscuits, bringing DuoSpoons to mouth independently and my little one took about 2 ounces of liquid safely by bottle and it was beautiful. I wanted to do cartwheels down the hall. I am an old cheerleader. A realllly old cheerleader with a broken elbow and too much weight to put up on these little wrists, but in my heart I was flying and sprinkling pixie dust and doing cartwheels. I am just the instrument and I get moments like these once in a while to convince me to keep going. Laura and I talk about opening a flower shop sometimes...these days are why we keep doing what we do.