Food Chaining: Holidays Are Hard

Today was tough. Holidays in general are a bit much to get through with three children and one on the spectrum. For Easter this year, I thought it would be a nice change for everyone to come to our house. Everyone in my family means about 8 extra people in the house so nothing too overwhelming.

Or so I thought.

For the most part, Ewan could not be pried away from the Wii to come and socialize. In fact, it seemed more of a refuge than anything today. Too overstimulating by far for him.

His older cousin is a gamer too and even he could not keep up with Senor Ewan today and would come and take breaks to hang out with everyone in the living room and poor Ewan simply could not understand why on earth anyone would choose talking over playing Wii.

Simply unfathomable in his head!

For the most part both boys, both with their own set of feeding issues, could not eat with the rest of us. Vaughn came in and snacked on fresh fruits and vegetables before the meal, but had to do so in the privacy of the kitchen by himself. Ewan could not even remotely handle eating at any point that people were here.

When it came time to sit down, Vaughn found a spot outside of the dining room by himself. Of course, everyone would ask him to come and eat with us, but he said, "No it's the smell" and refused to join in. He continued to eat some fruits and vegetables and bread but had to do it alone, in his own time and in his own way and with an arm load of wet wipes for his face and hands.

I've learned to take whatever the boys can offer in terms of being 'together' at large family gatherings and meals like this. Vaughn was much more at ease with 'living room' time than he was at 'meal' time.

Ewan, however, was uncomfortable with the whole enchilada.

It's not that he doesn't enjoy his family members, he does. But it is in small bursts and the art of conversation is not something he gets nor enjoys. He will settle for a quick, "I love you" to let you know that he does indeed feel connected to you, but not in a way most would understand or interpret as 'loving' or 'involved'. It's simply too chaotic to compete with people talking and he cannot process information while others are talking or moving about and he shuts down. Eating at this point, is darn near impossible.

After everyone left today Ewan settled down for a simple meal of fresh fruits and vegetables, fresh bread and fake butter and a big glass of Soy Milk. No mashed potatoes for him, no casseroles, and no cakes or pies either. Those foods are either too texturally advanced or too overwhelming visually or in terms of smell at this stage.

My goals for holidays have always been for Ewan to sit down with the whole family and eat a modified meal that is similar to our own. However, it may be that for Ewan, this kind of situation is less than ideal and may even be painfully uncomfortable. I've decided this year, that as with all other things in Ewan's life, we will follow his lead and learn what he can tolerate and what he cannot and find a balance.

As always, Happy Chaining and for today, Happy Easter everyone!
Alicia